Let it go

In my work with clients, the concept of “letting it go” comes up frequently. A tricky one. And one that can make a huge difference in our energy, clarity and happiness.

Hanging on to pretty much anything, especially something that no longer serves us, connotes effort, grasping and striving. Letting go gives us a feeling of lightening up, opening up. Think of the image of a hand closed tightly around an object. Now consider that hand without the object: relaxed, open to receive.let it go

Hanging on to something that is no longer serving us is like pushing against the river… a lot of effort and struggle for negligible gain. Going with the current is easier and will move you forward. What a feeling of relief to relax and let the river do the work.


First one needs clarity about the “it” that they may be better off letting go. Here are some examples of what my clients are letting go:


  • A relationship that is over
  • Perfection
  • The need for their lives to be a certain way
  • A substance or behaviour that is causing harm
  • The need for others to be a certain way
  • Worries about the future
  • Regrets about the past
  • The way life should  be



caringIt also helps to be clear about what you’re not letting go. For example:

  • While a relationship may be over, it’s important to keep the lessons you’ve learned from the experience.
  • Let go of the need for perfection, but keep your commitment to excellence.
  • Let go of your need for another person to be a certain way and focus of what you love about them.
  • Hang on to a goal or a dream, and let go of how to make it happen.
  • Live into the questions themselves, letting go of the need for an answer right this moment.

Of course when there is a loss, it’s important to feel the feelings that arise. Letting go doesn’t mean burying your feelings and pretending everything is OK. Often the first step along path to letting something go is fully honoring your feelings about it. Feel and release those feelings so you can release whatever it is you need to let go.JCampbellQuote

And sometimes, we hang on to the frustration of not being able to let something go. Why am I still holding on to this? Why can’t I let it go? If you are not yet ready to let something go, see if you can hold it lightly, release your iron-fisted grip. Breathe. Wait.


As to the “how” of letting things go, I can’t think of a better series of suggestions than those found here at Tiny Buddha. Many of these ideas boil down to choice. Letting go means choosing to do, say, feel or experience something differently.

Stepping away from the same old thing so you can stop getting the same old thing.

Regardless of what you are letting go, it begins with accepting the reality of your situation. Once you are clear about what is, your job is simple (just not necessarily easy): be your best, be kind, be awake, do what you can.

Everything else you can let go and turn over to The General Manager of the Universe. The GMU has far better plans for you, but only 100% of the time.


Some questions for you to percolate:dragged

  • What in your life is weighing you down?
  • What are you hanging on to that’s causing you grief?
  • What’s draining your energy?
  • Where are you grasping or striving to make something “work”?
  • What might you need to let go of in order to feel peace?
  • Where will you start? What is the first small step you might take toward letting go?